


Earful

by Kameiko



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Banter, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/pseuds/Kameiko
Summary: Crackle. Crackle. Crackle.Little brother's parenting habits coming through! Break the communicator! He won't notice anywaysCrackle. Crackle. End Transmission.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6
Collections: Worldbuilding Exchange 2020





	Earful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KuroHikaTsuchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroHikaTsuchi/gifts).



_Social Media they said. “A great idea!” YOU said. Proficient job, Grayson! Why don’t you blast that you used to be an agent for a downward spiral all over your Twitter timeline while you’re at it! We’re supposed to take this sociable market seriously to show that we’re capable of interacting with each other outside of basic human contact if we’re ever in an uncomfortable situation. We need to communicate with out of character-_

“I am going to stop you right here, Damian.” Dick pressed the mute button on his end to blur out Damian’s rambling-parent skills. He’s not Jon here or on one of their crazy adventures. Sure, he liked to joke about certain forbidden topics that should’ve been kept within their social circle, but when untimely humor comes into play? The whole world needed to know. Nothing like a bright laugh with a slice of life added to the mix to put the planet’s society in a peaceful state of mind for a total of five minutes. Although, the picture of Damian dressed up as an unmentionable animal costume character for Halloween might’ve been a bit too much. Dick received some questionable tweets after that photograph disaster.

_Grayson! I wasn’t finished! I’ve overridden your communicator earpiece in order to get my point across to you. Now, listen up, or I’ll make sure CERTAIN people on the network have access to your embarrassing photography._

“To be fair, Jon was the one who suggested that I post your bunny photos up online. Your face was hidden at the time, Damian. No need to get your fluffy white tail stuck up your ass farther than it already was.” True, Damian was wearing a mask. Jon was also the first one to like and retweet it. Then the post went semi-viral, and the whole internet had to make their comment about how adorable the “little boy” looked with his Halloween basket and his equally adorable dressed up partner against crime. Where does the problem lie? Well, Damian did some research against those questionable tweets. Some came from their friends that rather cut off their own finger than admitting they secretly have their own social media account just to look at meme’s, or they just pretend their account was hacked by the Joker or Harley Quinn just for a few blackmail laughs. The last bit of logic wouldn’t make any sense, since the criminals of Gotham don’t even know their real identities.

_You heard what I’ve said. I am not beyond blackmail as you’re not beyond being an embarrassment._

“Ouch, Damian. That really hurt my feelings there.” Damian can play the long sarcastic game all he wanted. Dick had plenty of ring time with Jason’s attitude back in the day, so Damian wasn’t much of a challenge for him. In fact, Jason was the only one who opted out of a Twitter account. He felt his identity would be compromised anyways due to what had happened to him in the past with a certain troll stalking a previous account he had just to follow up on the world news. Said that there were certain traits within tweets that made the villains an obvious stand out, or like he thought earlier: to troll. A crowbar for an avatar? A giggling cartoon hyena with its tongue sticking out avatar? A Murder of crows? A green Kite(man)? It was all too much of a coincidence. The last straw was ketchup and mustard. In the end, when Bruce looked into these mysterious coincidences for Jason it turned out to be a prank by one of the newer c-class villains of Gotham that went by The Prankster or something. No one bothered to remember after he was locked up and Bruce made sure that all the compromised media was deleted from the web.

_Tough love. We need to continue focusing on our interactions. You recently posted that you’re about to go out with a-what do you kids call it now? A happy face emoji? Where are you going? Who’re you going out with? Do I know this person? Don’t make me tweeting you any harder for my mental sake. You’re going out with the Huntress again? I thought you had put her on the watch list. You didn’t even use the hashtag we talked about! Grayson! You’re not a very social construct._

“I rather be my own person than what you’re talking about.” Dick rubbed his forehead in frustration. He just wanted to sit on the rooftop in peace! He made that tweet over an hour ago, so that no one would wonder why he hadn’t tweeted in over an hour. The whole “going out” was supposed to be his alone time away from the world to gather his own thoughts and courage through star gazing meditation, minus the stars since he was still in Gotham where stars don’t really shine at their brightest. Sometimes he wanted to log off the human connection cloud to connect with nature and his inner self. Something Damian desperately needed to do! Dick should mention this to the boy when he wasn’t jabbering his ear off with questions he longed tuned out.

_Are you listening to me? Hello? HELLO? Don’t you dare take your piece out! Hey! I can see the vibrations! Don’t you dare chuck-_

Crunch under the boot and splash into the muddy puddle. Ah, peace and quiet, finally. Dick breathed in and out knowing that he doesn’t have to deal with Damian for at least ten minutes, give or take how long it will take for the young kid to track any working pieces that remain. Maybe bribe Tim to do some in depth hacking if the worst-case scenario was to be assumed. Looking back up, Dick reveled in the starless sky above him. He wanted to reach out, grab onto something he hoped to touch. How far away was that? Was he close to something that could give him a peace of mind or good sleep? What would either look like? He started to close his eyes, let the blackness behind his eyelids take him away and then-

“I told you I would find you! I even beat my previous record by two minutes! Now, we have some major problems to discuss. Number one: your attitude. I appreciate your full undivided attention then maybe I won’t show any unsolicited photographs to father and-”

-then all hope for a peaceful quiet night was lost.


End file.
